There are so many articles about introverts and how they are misunderstood. I read something the other day that mentioned extroverts are incapable of understanding introverts.
The article also said that extroverts are less successful and less intelligent because they are not within themselves and don’t know what to do with their own company? I’m not sure about you but I hardly agree with generalization although we all find ourselves guilty of it without realizing.
Is That Really Who You Are?
For the longest time in my life I remember being told that I was very much an extrovert. This continued for many years and I believed that was who I was so I embraced it fully. After all, I come from a large family who were always surrounded by more family and even more family gatherings so when something is part of your life and your personality learns how to manage it, it becomes you.
When I met my husband he came into my life with his own bag of family challenges and I soon learnt that that my extrovert personality was accommodating for us both, including our families. That’s the thing about being seen as an extrovert, you are perceived as being capable, strong, efficient, broad shoulders, loud voice and so people tend to throw what they can at you almost like a test of your strength.
You can label me as both ends of this type, the introverted extrovert which means that even though I like people, that doesn’t mean that I like to be around people all the time, any time because all the energy required needs refueling.
10 Generalizations of an Extrovert:
- Extroverts are expected to always be strong
- They are expected to always be upbeat and therefore they force themselvs into a happy mode
- Extroverts can be accused of being flirtatious because quite often they end up being the bell of the ball with a friendly disposition
- Extroverts tend to take on the responsibility of keeping the conversation flowing
- They normally have very strong opinions
- They are not seen as intellectual as they are always giving their opinions and intellectualism is often portrayed as being silent
- They always want to solve problems by discussing everything even someone else’s problems
- Not necessarily the most patient
- Extroverts can also be accused of being highly emotional and self centered even though they are also extremely compassionate
- They want to control things and because I promised you only ten points I will quickly inlude loneliness in extroverts is overlooked.
Being Labeled an Extrovert in the Work Place
For years throughout my life I remember walking into job interviews and despite the fact that the interview would be successful I found that my extroverted personality mostly worked to my advantage. Once in the position, over time I slowly started to question whether I was in fact an extrovert at all?
You see, extroverts are given this general perception that the personality is supposed to be of a sales orientated culture. Where you should be not just in sales and marketing but also of the deceptive culture which quite often is called ‘think on your feet’.
Its not about being an extrovert or an introvert (neither really makes good sales) its about listening and building relationships that makes brilliant sales and I have met a few people who do not listen, they are too busy talking and coming up with the next hat trick. Now I was really beginning to believe that I was neither.
An Accommodating Extrovert
In our earlier years of marriage my husbands family and mostly friends would visit (or move in) and I would cook large amounts of food, and Sundays were spent in this way. No wait, I lie, most days. My family would also visit through the years with their families and everybody was one big happy or troubled family. As years went by however, I found myself in the middle of pure exhaustion. The expected get together’s began to feel overrated and the pressure to attend became nothing less than arrogant. Over the years, I began to feel like a fish out of water so I slowly began retreating from all this activity which naturally caused lots of problems because people, family or not, generally don’t like it when you don’t do what they are all doing because then they start thinking something is wrong with you. Maybe you are annoyed, or you are ill, or “it’s just not right you know” more like when you go out for after office drinks and you order a non alcoholic drink and everyone asks “whats wrong? Suddenly no one likes it much when your extroverted nature is not there to disguise their own inefficiencies, it’s not as entertaining as it is annoying.
Are Some Extroverts Actually Ambiverts?
With all of the above I am gladly finding comfort in being an Ambivert. So tell me, which one are you? Are you an Introvert, Extrovert or an Ambivert? Please leave your comments below 🙂
Be Who You Are, No One Needs To Like It, For Those Who Matter Don’t Mind and Those Who Mind Don’t Matter.
Thank you for reading!