The Art of Letting Go
Just as we are told to forgive and move on, we are also told to just it go, only if the art of forgiveness and letting go was that simple there wouldn’t be a need for us to try to disentangle our feelings. There it is again, the word feelings and how they control us because we let them?
There is so much pressure to ‘let it go’ and ‘get over it and forgive’ ‘move on’ but there is so much more to the art of letting go and we cannot expect everyone to deal with it the same way. We all have had different experiences, some worse than others and there is a process to letting go, a painful process because letting go forces you to deal with your pain that you would have otherwise pushed aside somewhere deep inside.
Understanding why you have to let it go and accepting the pain that comes with that, accepting the situation for what it is, being open and raw with yourself in your conversations, being brave enough to go down that path at any cost because you want to let it go is where you need to start. You have to be ready, you have to want to start that journey. So acceptance is a good place to begin.
To expect someone to just let it go is not only unreasonable but also ignorant. How are we to know what goes on inside another human being? How are we to know or understand the chaos inside another person without having lived it ourselves? Treatment and a healing process is what is needed and a whole lot of time. Time to heal is the least of luxuries that one can afford someone in pain and not to just let it go.
Unfortunately through the pain and chaos caused in our lives it has a ripple effect on our entirety. Our self esteem takes a beating, our anxiety levels are chaotic, our nervous system is in desperate need of some peace, but most of all, our minds cannot rest therefore the damage is real. It would not be fair to compare the levels of damage as in that one is more severe than the other because what might not be big to me may be destructive to you. Our emotional state is all different and every pain caused is pain so time and healing because the healing process is never about anyone else except the victim.
Please see more on this post The Privilege of Healing