It took a very long time for me to understand the value of letting go. I was missing out on a wealth of happiness and a very large portion of living, by holding on – not only to the people and events from the past but also everything that was current in my life at that time, for much longer than necessary.
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci
What I have come to understand is that while you are holding on to everything, you are not aware of the damage it causes to your inner spirit. Hoarding becomes habitual and it can start from a very young age.
A child may be selfish with their personal toys and a parent may not think much of it and in many cases it goes unnoticed, the child is in fact sympathised with instead of being explained to, the importance of sharing. That type of attachment can start with one small item and it can grow into larger areas of ones life, when finally, the attachment to things outside, begins to filter into the emotional well being. You will start to ‘collect’ or ‘hoard’ closets filled with clothes, every corner of your home will be filled to capacity, you will stubbornly hold onto traditions whether or not they are a positive or negative force in your life, your energy starts to stagnate, and your mindset decreases, almost as though it is suffocating well within the confinement of the walls which you have built, which only allows for the mind to work in terms of what and who is around you, nothing else.
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
Your “practised attachments” has in time had a huge impact on your entire being that you have become ignorantly self centred and arrogant, yet remain convinced that you are an incredible person, a good person, and a giving person too – when in fact, you have no space in your mind or body for the art of giving, you are too busy attending to the collected parties of items, events, people, food, clothes, money and all else materialistic.
The real test of this whole crazy situation however, is always when the greed becomes greater than the need, and the greater it becomes – as greed so often does, the world will, at that precise time of your vulnerability – the world will suck you right in.
Sad but true, that over time, this exercise goes from items and events to memories and pain, and before you know it, your space is so filled with regret, anger, pain, and negativity that there is no longer space left for anything else remotely connected to peace and happiness.
Living in that place can be quite charming – as ignorance is bliss because giving, sharing and letting go is an informed educated choice but we choose the bubble of unhappy, and are too blind to see the power in truly letting go. This is a bubble I found myself in for a very long time, but eventually I learnt how to achieve that sense of peace and forgiveness – and I also understood, that it was okay for me, to not know how the process worked, it was okay to not know how to achieve that inner peace, it was okay and wise to know that on this journey of healing, I would, for every step forward – it would at most times, take me two steps back – I had to understand that the entire process, was in perfect alignment with the journey toward healing. That to forgive myself even for not knowing, was part of that journey, and that the only factor, lay, in that I kept moving forward.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives” – Unknown
Forgiveness, courage and the process of healing – does not take a day, a week or years, it takes as long or as short as the damage that has been caused. It is neither a peaceful nor a stable process – instead it is a frightful, insecure and an excruciatingly painful path – however – the rewards are many – in that, it allows you not only the opportunity to learn and to let go of every single unhappy place inside of you, but, it also allows, for you to filter everything in your life, from the unpleasant memories, people, events, traditions, pain, humiliation – and to remove the ugly and horrid parts that have settled inside of you, and when it is all done, the good news, is that finally, you are left with the very best parts of yourself – inside you and around you.
Letting go is an essential part of growth, inner peace and happiness. I like to call it –
The Privilege of Healing